Eh-Heh.

Here.

Of Bowler Hats and Such

I have a fixation with vintage and antique-style hats,

along with old fashion

and a lot of other old-fashioned paraphernalia.

-bookguild

My Late Thoughts

Pardon the pun. And I don't wish to offend anyone. But I guess my afterword regarding high school is missing....

Many are celebrating what they deem to be the end. They're free from the rigours of school and homework and crazy teachers... Their schedules have much leeway, and they can finally get paid for all their dirty work. No more perplexing math equations if you don't want them, nor discussions of how this body part works or what that thing does....

Yet to the years gone by... Despite rejoicing in light of the end of school, there are tons more who are also embittered by the fact that they won't see most of their classmates again. Nor the cool teachers. Nor familiarity....

The funny thing is, I'm rather the opposite of the lot....

The irony in the celebration is that graduation is far from the end. And thus, I do not raise my glass or cheer.

As for the other half of the picture... In all honesty, I'm quite happy that I won't have to deal with being a high school student anymore. The drama, the cliquey-ness... Sure, there were good times such as experiencing the world of my wacky biology teacher, playing round after round of Dutch blitz, and discovering the darkroom (which I used to think of as a tiny, pitch-black space for taking flash photography and experimenting with lighting. Shame on me), but I've had better days: ah, middle school, the balance between innocence and corruption... And though I've had people to talk to, in those four years, I feel that I've never become that close with anyone (maybe even drifted apart with some), and I often felt like a bit of an outsider... I've always wanted a few "(visual) artsy" friends.

Perhaps that will happen come September. Maybe the drama will still be there, but the thrill will fade...maybe even just a little. And if you look at the famed, I think there's quite a number of individuals who used to be of the quiet/misfit/loner type in school... Not that I expect to become famous myself, but I guess I should stop worrying about how obscure or bland I seemed in high school. I'll seem more of a Smarties cookie in university than one that's plain.

-bookguild

Lavender Ribbon

on deviantART

-bookguild

Retiring But Not Retiring

I remember my writing teacher saying that the retired are a busy bunch. Not with work, but with all the things they've been meaning to do, but never had much time for. Most of my summers I would spend dozing and lazing around, but this summer, I guess I'll be like a retired woman (irony: I'm only starting [or rather, planning to start] in the workforce) in a sense: I have so much that I want to do. I guess here, I'll post some of my plans for those two months... Not that anybody really cares. Why do I always type as if people actually read my blog?

-Go to the Vancouver Art Gallery to see that surrealist exhibition.

-Try ramen (no, not the instant kind, the REAL kind), wheatgrass juice/smoothie, ginger beer (it HAS to be better than root beer....), and chocolate chili chai tea (from DAVIDsTEA. I love their selection).

-Go to Metrotown, the Crystal Mall, a record store, and an Apple Store. :D

-Get some job experience.

-Cook and bake more (pasta sauce, fasolada, samosas....)
-Eat at TacoTime. (Lol, not that special? Well, there's a TacoTime where I live, and we have less of Taco Bells in BC, yet I've never tried TacoTime...ever.)

-Practice oil painting.

-Work on all those painting/drawing/etc. ideas I had been too lazy to touch.

-Process all those RAW photos in my hard drive (and despite the flexibility of RAW files, I think I should switch to shooting in JPEG).

-Get an external hard drive.

-I'd love to get a fifteen-inch MacBook Pro, but I doubt that'll happen. (Yes, I'm an Apple whore.)

-NOT BE A HERMIT.

-bookguild

Where's Stephen Harper?

So why is there an Obama poster (there's also one of John F. Kennedy elsewhere) up at a Canadian school when there are no posters of Stephen Harper?

Maybe Canada needs a prime minister from a minority group, too... And then people would be up in roars of delight....

Oh wait, it's Canada. Nobody really cares about Canada.

-bookguild

Love, Trust, And....

Those are among the most important aspects in a relationship for many people. Other examples include common interests (sometimes even hates), communication, and flexibility. However, I think these people are missing something else in their criteria....

Even though I haven't had much of a love life (yet?), I've watched relationships work, and not work; I've watched my own crumble into but ashes... And from all of this, I've come to the conclusion that another important part of a relationship (at least in the modern world) is autonomy. Most, if not all of the students I know who are in steady relationships, have jobs as well as cars of their own (or they're allowed to use their parents' car, or they have the money to use public transportation services on a regular basis). The jobs give them something to do, something to keep boredom and idleness and excess liberty away, something to keep both parties from getting sick of each other too quickly....

On the other hand, I am not to touch my mother's car unless she's in it too (then what was the point in getting my licence? I'm probably not even going have a chance of driving alone until after university), and I have never had a paid job, and thus, I rightly still consider myself a dependent (despite having been outside of the 0-14 age range for three years). Obviously, that makes it difficult to get out (or maybe I'm just a self-pitying hermit thinking of lame excuses), not to mention where I live, there is little in the way of entertainment or public transportation (particularly routes that go outside the city--you REALLY need a car to get anywhere). I'm also very private about my relationships (not just relationships, I keep quiet about most things) around my family... Sure, questions are inevitable, but I'm never comfortable with being asked about what's beyond the surface (shut up, don't think too much)....

I'll be in university in less than a year, in an urban environment with numerous SkyTrain stations, and away from my family, but still without a job (and only working in the summer)... Should I find a partner, I wonder how he (or she? Though I get the impression that my family's homophobic) and I would fare? Without a year-round source of income, probably not too well. And it's not like I can ask my parents for money all the time, or always expect the guy to pay....

At least that's the impression I get....

Or maybe I'm just an uptight, over-analyzing prick.

-bookguild

No Gripes About Cutting People in Half

    Much of this dream I now remember in a mish-mash.

    I believe I (was it even me? I don’t remember, but I guess I’ll refer to the “protagonist” as myself) was in a haunted house of sorts. (The inside-the-haunted-house part, I dreamt in first-person. Too many horror point-and-click games?) No, not the funhouse variety, more like a real haunted house. I think there was some being lurking around, trying to chase me. It was human in shape, but it sure didn’t act human. Or maybe there were multiple of those creatures around that I kept killing in order to defend myself. I do remember blood. And I do remember cutting heads. And strange noises. But one really weird thing was that there was some pause feature that I was able to use… I can’t recall specifically for what, but it was to my advantage. And I believe one of the creatures was chasing me out.

    Outside the house, there was one of those monsters (the same one that was chasing me out, perhaps…?) lying on the pavement ground. (Here, I am seeing the dream in third-person.) There was short, green grass nearby, and the sky was a little dim and blue, casting a light in the same colour upon everything below. The “monster” had a dark cloak on (but at this point, his face was visible, and I could see some brown stubble on his upper lip), and looked more human than the other monster(s) from inside… Yet I had severed his head. Then, some woman in a cloak arrived… Her cloak was mostly black, but had embellishments embroidered with gold-coloured thread. She said something like, “I have no gripes about cutting people in half.” I think she was from a tribe or clan that cut enemies in this manner shortly after the enemies have been killed. She performed this ritual on the dead monster/man. After that, I don’t think I saw her again.

    The next scene I remember had me and two or three others (some of my real-life friends, I think). We ascended into the sky in a V-formation, similar to the way that Canada geese do… But we didn’t have one person as the centre of the V. I was on the right side in front (if you looked at the formation from an aerial view), with someone else directly to my left, and the remaining people were following from behind. The person beside me and I, we clasped hands together, and the whole party sang Bohemian Rhapsody.

    The final part, we were back on the ground. Again, the grass was short, and completely green…no traces of yellow to be found. We were walking toward a garden sort of area… It looked a little like the backyard garden in one of my old homes: kind of like a steep staircase. There were a few small evergreen trees scattered about amongst ground-level plants and tons of soil. At the top of the staircase garden was a white fence, and a gate. There were a lot of people in front of me and the others I had flown with, and no one behind. We kept walking towards our goal when a monster appeared from behind in the distance. I think it looked partly like a human, partly like a creepy rag doll… I think we got rid of her, though. We made it to the garden. I didn’t see the part where we opened the gate.

-bookguild

Drinking Age....

...is kind of pointless.

-bookguild

Those Dried Vegetables That Come in Ramen Packages.

I never liked the dried vegetable bits that came in instant ramen packages. When I was little, I hated vegetables in general, so it was obvious that I would hate the dried stuff. Now, I hate them for different reasons: the texture is disgusting! And they don't really add any taste to the broth....

Of course, that's why I add fresh vegetables to my noodles. They're nicer to chew on, and much more appealing to the tastebuds....

But I have still yet to try real ramen that isn't instant. Shame on me, I've never tried any in Japan....

-bookguild

Colours

...Or your clichéd druggie story. I wrote it as an original composition for English....

Subway, Eat Fresh?

I don't eat fresh. I like the salty goodness of Spicy Italian sandwiches, complete with jalapeño peppers galore. Mmm, spicy, salty goodness....

Except one thing.

I hate it when my hands smell of sandwich after.

And the smell stays on for a long time.

-bookguild

A Country of Love, and Lust

I was in France with a few classmates… We were part of a student tour group. (IRL: I had been touring in Europe with some friends in March, though we were in Central Europe. However, some of my friends from a different school went to France.) We were on the streets of some busy shopping alleyway, and it had been announced earlier that we were to have some free time. Near us was an anime store, which TB saw and entered. On the windows of that store were some posters of scantily clad anime girls, despite their innocent-looking faces… They somewhat resembled the Amazon Quartet from Sailor Moon (lol), and the colours were in pastel hues.

“Of course he’d go in there,” someone said (it may have been me). Yet SH and I entered, too, and looked around. All of the workers there were young Asian women in maid outfits. SH and I were wandering separately… The money we had in us was in francs, despite the currency being outdated. I was paying so much attention to the merchandise that I ended up bumping into one of the workers (WTF? That sounds like something from a short story of mine). I think I stopped and looked at her, then continued browsing, but I do remember her laughing a bit and saying in English to the other two workers (who were at the cash register smack-dab in the middle of the store… The floor was square-shaped. One of the two girls there was, um…a little chubby.), “Did you see what she did?” She thought I was her friend!” (I had a similar incident was I when younger.) Later, SH and I left. At one point, she said something to me along the lines of, “I want to go somewhere else so we can hold hands.” We went off well away from the shopping district to a building of standard red bricks… It appeared to be a church, but I don’t remember a cross being there. Around us was green grass, some mountains, and the sun… No signs of man having been there other than the church….

Escape

 
I once spilled water on my MacBook, and shortly after, it shut down. In a desperate attempt to get the water out, I was going to remove the keys and shake it dry. I began with the escape key, but once I got it out, I realized that in the process, I had ruined the metal parts underneath and was thus unable to attach it back on, and that removing the rest of the keys would be just plain idiotic. Finally, my dad told me to simply flip my laptop upside down and leave it overnight. Lucky me; the next day, it was functioning again as if the spill hadn't happened. But I was now left with the escape key detached from its spot. Yeah, it didn't look pretty, but I went around without that key there for a long time.

Another time, I found that some of the white plastic-y stuff of my laptop was chipping away at the edge. I still had the pieces, so I put them back on with crazy glue (it looks crappy, but it's better than having that gaping slit the damage had revealed). I never returned the glue to my dad and left it sitting on my desk... Thinking, it occurred to me tonight that I could try reattaching the escape key to the rubbery ring with that glue. I did exactly that, only to find that the key was flimsy in its place. My solution to that was to use springs. Wait, where would I get such tiny springs? I decided to try creating them out of paper.

I tore out the key, and cut up and folded some strips of paper. I then noticed that standard paper isn't very sturdy, and keeping it folded for a long time would quickly lead to damage. So I reinforced the paper by putting Scotch tape on both sides. Then I cut up the taped area, folded, and glued. Hey, it worked! Yes, it's a little noticeable in that the escape key's a little raised compared to the rest of the keyboard, and I think I should have used four springs (one on each side) instead of two (but I don't dare ripping out the key when it's been crazy-glued...well, like crazy)... I have to press hard on that key whenever I want to use it now (though I almost never use it). But now I don't need to go around with a missing key anymore.

Yay, my keyboard's pretty again!

-bookguild

The Eyes Have It.

One thing I really hate: how my eyes look, well, cross-eyed. It bugs me how evident it becomes once I take a shot of myself, especially if it's in frontal view....

But I've noticed that a lot of other Asians have that as well. I guess it's a trait that's been passed down for generations....

Wow, I have a lot of distant relatives!

-bookguild

Sweeping the Mines

Ah, Minesweeper. That game used to frustrate me as a child. It still somewhat does now. My brother used to be very lucky at it; myself... Well, I kept dying, death after death of walking on mines. Years later, I read about the logic behind that game, yet I still didn't get how it worked. Then, on a total whim, I opened for some games of Minesweeper today, and even though I still kept dying, I eventually understood what the numbers meant. I did become frustrated at one point and resorted to clicking random boxes, but once that passed, I decided to take my time. Lo and behold, for the first time in my life, I won.

Thus here I am, celebrating this day all by my lonesome in my own little room as everyone carries on and the world keeps going round and round.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-bookguild

Barrett

"I think young people should have a lot of fun. But I never seem to have any."

-Syd Barrett

 

I could say the same about myself. I've lived a rather sheltered life to date; my childhood wasn't the most exciting... A lot of it's monotonous to tell. Typical things here and there, like playing tag or pretend... Moving a few times...but little comes to mind if ever someone wonders about my life story.

My writing teacher once said that without life experiences, there's no inspiration, and that anything you write comes off as fake and inauthentic. The thing is, I stay cloistered in my room much of the time. Not that I can't go out... I just never do. Thus, I often draw inspiration from what I read, what I see, and what goes on in my brain during my nightly (or not?) slumber....

I've been interested in dreams, their bizarre nature, and the interpretation of dreams for a while now... So perhaps I'll be blogging about that...mostly... I think. (Other things, such as that poem I posted, shall pop up.) I've made previous attempts at blogging, but I was never able to find anything to shout to the world; I never blogged regularly... Even with this one, I think I'll start with some previous dreams, and later leave for a long period time, then come back... I get sporadic.

Anyway, that was just to state a few things there.

-bookguild

Trip

The colour of the natural backdrop looming over my head

Has always been in azure shades

And drab green are the grass and leaves

And how they remain so still these colours;

Thus I wondered to myself,

Could I subject these places to miraculous change?

And here, the landscape does change

In which the sky becomes violet above my head

Which makes me think to myself

About the peculiar beauty of the shades

And now-blooming colours.

How odd is the blue grass, how rare the flowers and leaves!

Now violet are the leaves

After the foliage has undergone yet another change.

Have you seen the roses? There's a whole lot of colours.

I turn my head

To see the horizon in crimson shades

And loops and swirls in front of myself.

"How unusual these colours are," I think to myself!

As the petals and leaves

And plants morph into the sky's former, autumnal shades

And the panes above undertake further change

In fiery orange; over my head

Sails a slinky dragon in flashing colours.

The sky then dons sunny colours

As I witness around myself

Above my head

The stars blinking! And here, the leaves

Make the change

The transition from red to orange shades.

Into golden shades

The leaves become, though they do not wilt and crumble. Oh, the colours

Of the once-yellow background change

Into lush greens! Myself,

I twirl as the flowers and leaves

Dance, and lucky charms swirl about my head.

And here my trip without bodily travel ends; the shades

Of the skies, the lilies, the leaves transform to their rightful colours

Of green foreground backed by blue, and until next season, they cease to change.

 Just so you all know, I have never used LSD or any other type of hallucinogen. But I am very much enamoured by all things from the 1960s-early 1970s.

-bookguild